deliberate intent

 

One of the first things I wanted to talk about was a new phrase that came to me. Deliberate intent. I feel like a lot of college students could relate to the struggle of wanting to drop out. At least once. High school pushes a certain view on us you know? Go to college, make money, work until you die. And once the money fogs your vision a little bit it's easy to ride on that idea. I came to college with that same ideology and boy did I get a rude awakening. Within a month of being here, I was ready to call it quits deadass. I called my mom, called my dad and I was ready to pack everything up and leave this in the past. Good thing I talked to my family first because they can always keep my head on straight. After a month of soul searching, I realized what it was. I couldn't live a life of contentment. If my soul didn't feel fulfilled, life wasn't worth living. No matter how much money I had in the world. I just imagined myself hanging around dead bodies all day slowly going crazy. (I wanted to be a forensic scientist lol) when I imagined my life, I realized all I wanted to see was me happy. You know that saying where they say if you love your job it doesn't feel like work? yeah, I wanted that. Before I soul searched (and before quarantine lol), college felt like an obligation, LIFE felt like an obligation. Just going through the motions. After, it felt like I had a deliberate intention to be there and I was there because I wanted to be, not because somebody else told me I had to be. So that's how I want to live my life with the deliberate intent to be who I am unapologetically and do what I want to do without hesitation. Make a conscious decision to be present for my own life and stop letting society make decisions for me. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.