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Sunday, June 8, 2025

6/8/25

 I know you used to like me

maybe you loved me even

but now? I cant tell anymore

these tears are not like the others

they hurt me to cry

they burn my skin when they roll down my face

and they evaporate quickly as if they were never there

I wonder if ill see you parked outside my house

but I wont. cuz you dont care

that's my burden to bear

you swear you loved me

but i'd swear you hate me now

 

Tuesday, May 27, 2025

my last sun

 The last sun at PV seemed to dance around the sky

it weaved among the clouds, ready to play

almost winking undoubtedly about the memories, it had witnessed.

At times it felt like a total eclipse or like there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

I was thankful for it all because when that sun set

so did this chapter of my life with it.

and though the sun that day could melt a popsicle,

or your skin off your face,

in the last second the breeze felt cool

almost as a final goodbye, a something to remember me by.

and I didn't cry because it was over

I cried because I didn't miss the girl that started there

and I couldn't wait to be the girl that was leaving.




Wednesday, April 2, 2025

a poet lost in time

 The words are lost on me,

but the meanings not.

a novel but less structure,

a book but better.

i can go wherever my thoughts will take me

and create a playground

for my mouth

to roam free.

what i learned at 21

 assumptions

hyper masculine dads make pedophiles? 

im starting to doubt that im suitable of *romantic* love

my marketing degree made me media trained (politically correct)

my dad is just like me fr

correlation does not equal causation

lessons not forged in blood are soon forgotten

a leader should be the best person for the job

the cost of procrastination is the life you could've lived

if you let a man lead you hell lead you straight to hell

rest is not a reward for hard work its the fuel you need to work hard

capitalism doesn't want you to eat

you need 4 hobbies. making/creating (air dry clay), consuming/ appreciating (foodie), active (outdoor meditation), social 

how to pray: worship, praise, repent/confess, petition, pray for others

sometimes the familiar choice is the best choice

raising obedient children will not raise confident adults


Monday, February 12, 2024

what i learned at 20

ignorance IS bliss

let a mystery be a mystery until its ready to be solved

life doesn't happen to you, you make life happen

dont wait until its too late to set boundaries

dont dwell on the past

grow with your friends

you are no better than any other woman so dont bring other women down

anger is always a mask for a more complex emotion

use it or lose it

deviate from your normal routine

be proactive not reactive

if you find a sucker, lick it

fall in love with the process

you can only BELIEVE in something you dont KNOW

literature is made for misinterpretation

the best outfits make you feel like the wearer knows something you dont

people pleasers are manipulators

i am communicative to a fault

good vs evil = president snow vs president coin

there are bad guys and worse guys, so it makes the bad look not as bad

fem energy + masculine energy= chef's kiss

parents are really sensitive

you cant apply girl logic to guy thought processes and vice versa

they say a friend to all is a friend to none and I feel that way about myself with thoughts

i might be a people pleaser. in the opposite and most extreme sense

my brain is trained too much to look outwards that I've forgotten how to look inwards.

the love that you deserve is outside of plenty of heartbreaks

people get mad when you wont let them disrespect you

potential is as dangerous as anxiety and fear. Its make-believe.

A nigga tryna spin the block is not a compliment to your character. He's either desperate or thinks you'd 
go for it.

I am so aware of myself that i unintentionally make other people aware of themselves. and i dont think 
they like that.

i trigger people with my thought process

keyshawn does to ty, what ty does to kam

i sing a lot less

im a tease on accident

always chase the sunset

i love music but its like crowding my head

in the past i feel like ive always had a lot to say but more and more often i find myself having nothing to say at all

people dont take the time to look up. literally

dont just take no for an answer

the man who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality as much as the honesty. possibly more. - Richard Needham

honesty without kindness is cruelty. kindness without honesty is manipulation.

theres nothing that says truth has to be brutal. it just has to be true. 

don't hate the player hate the game? but the players make the rules so change it to your advantage

when you eat you gotta let other people eat too

you gotta be even more delusional. thats the point

i only grow apart from people who dont grow

everyone's a crawfish

my friends think im raven from teen titans 

everyone else might play bout me but the last person ima let play bout me is me

healing is reframing

to be honest is to be brave

fear of conflict = lack of intimacy

a friend to all is a friend to none

meaningless thoughts cloud your own sunny day

just do it. the time will pass anyways

"at least i tried" is better than "what if i tried"

finding 5 dollars can make any bad story better

how can i be having more fun

deep down inside i know there's no saving the black community

a conversation is the easiest thing to have

they might not understand but all they need to do is try

you cant choose when people acknowledge you, so make the most of it when they do

its a gift to be misunderstood

comprehension is needed for communication

I smoke, drink, and masturbate just to feel something

3 things always come out, the sun, the moon, and the truth

"you live inside of yourself"

its hard for people to understand things about me because my perspective and thought process behind things change so often. thats leads to me feeling like no one cares to know the real me, but really no one can keep up.

i need to stand up to myself

i need to deal with my ego

i go to a smaller school to exercise the control i dont have in my life

i am envious of my past self

dicks are dumb asf

never hold in a nice thought

seven types of rest:  mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, creative, sensory, social

if you date a loser or friends with a loser, that makes you a loser too. loser by association if you will

we are losing the novelty of experiencing firsts and the purity of not knowing

sensationalism has destroyed being

you cannot break down the master's house with the master's tools

every time you forgive him, he will love you more, but you will love him less. And on the day he loves 
you the most, you will love him the least.

you walk that stage and assume you've finished your character development

is this my final form?

gotta stop wishing dudes the best when you stop talking because you obviously don't know the best 
when you got it

you feel bad asking for money, do you think men feel bad asking for sex?

instinct vs intuition

not in touch with anything, at all, definitely

i love every smell that comes out of my body, good and bad

you cant see the stars in the city at night because they're all on the ground

its better to shoot with a full shot than half ass a half shot

love don't make sense

what's my return of investment on love

relationship time goes by dog years

story vs musical music listeners

i have thoughts that i am often embarrassed to say aloud

women have intuition but men dont

instincts are environmental, earthly, can be lost, about survival and comfort. intuition is about 
alignment, energy, wisdom, and is not about comfort but is always within you

you can live with dignity, you cant die with it

men show their true colors after 3 months (3 month rule)

being friends with a dumb ho all fun and games until yall both living through an abusive relationship

if a person can't respect their self, they can never respect you

am I a victim blamer/hater? like I almost even blamed myself when that stuff went down with Sam

you dont need people around you thats always tryna humble you

i got dreams but no goals

im uninspired by my environment

i am not a hard person to love. at least thats what i want to believe. 

projection is confession

Americans protect rich people because we all have the dream in our head that we could one day be rich

the truth is what everyone believes

are you born wicked or do your circumstances make you wicked

do you go through a lot or are you put through a lot

I look people in their eyes less than I should, so when I do, is that feeling I feel real or am I just nervous because I dont usually look people in the eye

i dont think i "need" to be with someone funny

i dont enjoy or feel as fulfilled or secure when im alone as i used to. Does that mean i need more or less time alone?

lots of trees and the mailbox not being in front of the house could either be a sign of wealth or government housing

fainting is NOT FUN

if the offer is embarrassing it isnt enough

Our generation is the outcome of too much instant gratification

if a man believes you would never leave him then its time to go

my guilty pleasure is people who seek my approval

comfortable silence is only as comfortable as I am in the relationship. there's no such thing as comfortable silence if i don't know you because there's no relationship

dogs are a bridge between the spiritual and the physical

a good picture on a bad profile could just be that

just hear it dont absorb it

slow down

spoiled girls make brats, spoiled boys make murderers

you have to learn to love the person they are and the person they could grow to become

all trees aren't your friends

a day doesn't start out good it becomes good

looking for a job is a lot like dating. employees want to feel wanted, companies want to be chased

famous people stop growing mentally at the age they got famous at

not only am I love bombed but now I am the love bomber to lovers and friends!

The love is louder than the disrespect

my eyes are bigger than my cooch

sometimes people are loud because they're confused. They need to talk out their confusion aloud. essentially what mansplaining is. 

stop making your past pay for your future

we trust strangers all day long

would I rather be miserable 3 days 100% or miserable every day 5%

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.” - Bertrand Russel

niggas don't care what I'm doing but anytime I'm finna go somewhere they wanna come

If you're in the forest and you see the same tree twice you might be lost... but you also might be home.

our perception of the world starts with us

men think women look up to female rappers like they look up to male rappers

love being in control hate being in charge

Learn to love how you fail

become the solution

don't get stuck in the planning process

most people believe the first thing their told

I have an outdoor cat attachment style

good relationships aren't found they're created

do white men like bad hair because they think it looks good or because they're less intimidated?

i got a sneaky hater mindset.

anything you can not fast from you are a slave to

stop taking your own advice

most men want to look like a man but they don't care about being one

the presence of one thing does not mean the absence of another

when accountability knocks, "this is different" always answers

jobs tell me what they want but why cant i get what i want?

I feel like crying 80% of the time

signs of having poor self-discipline are that every day is a cheat day

If the oppressor and the oppressed are serving the same God, who's prayers are being answered?

avoidance and learning are not the same thing

if you give a man power to feed you you also give him the power to starve you

you can follow all the rules and they can change them

luxury of option

luxury of imagination

relationship papercuts

non confrontational people are the weakest link

CONSIDERATION> CONSIDERATION> CONSIDERATION>

i really like soft rock

keeping quiet keeps the peace but who's peace is it keeping

i try to say all the bad stuff first to see if theyll leave or not

those that pull the ladder up behind them wonder why they are lonely at the top

everyone shows respect but might not have respect

those that can see past the illusion of their society will be made out as villians

most friends are just nosey they dont actually care

not having an opinion doesnt make you easy to get along with it makes you seem careless

you cannot see a pretty girl and feel neutral about her. either you love her or hate her

dont borrow grief from the future

dont belittle others

men dont buy opinionated women


Tuesday, January 30, 2024

butterfly in a cage

 a butterfly in a cage

rapunzel in her tower

catch me by the wing

lock me in my castle

take away my power

and admire my beauty

for you to enjoy alone. 

Sunday, January 28, 2024

whats in a name

 get used to your name

you'll have it all the time

unless someone sees fit to change it.

I have a ring now

but this name doesn't ring a bell

2 mirrors with the shards mixed

you see yourself staring back

and I

see

you

- (Girlfriends becoming wives 1/29/2024)

6/8/25

 I know you used to like me maybe you loved me even but now? I cant tell anymore these tears are not like the others they hurt me to cry the...